Physical Education

Inspired by true events.

"I hate P/E" Mo cried to her sisters. "I am going to ask mum if I can get a day off".

Me and my sisters watched her go to ask mum but we all knew what the answer would be. It would be the same as it was on Monday evening and last week and come to think of it the week before.

"The exercise is good for you, so you have to go". As predicted mum replied.

P/E in school was really horrible, not only did you face the embarrassment of being picked last for netball or rounders, but having to wear leotards and prance about doing some sort of ballet or other dance activity. Having to watch the other girls climb up ropes quickly; you being the only one who can't hold on and falling on your butt each time.

"I have to find a way to get out of P/E, will you help me"? my sister asked us; she was so desperate but we did not know what to do.

Days went by and finally the day came when I went to school and a friend of mine had broken her arm so she was exempt from doing P/E. Exempt from doing P/E, hhhmmmm. When I got home I told Mo about this revelation.

"How shall I do it though, the bone is not an easy thing to break" my sister asked me.

"I know, I will push you down the stairs" I was quite serious at the time and I think Mo freaked out abit. "Noway! that would hurt", she said.

"Duh, of course it will hurt but it will hurt when your arm is broken anyway".

She would not listen to reason for that idea to take place so alas we decided to hit her arm with a shoe (honestly, we looked for a hammer but could not find one). After about three hits she moved her fingers towards me and said "This is not going to break my arm; your not even hitting it hard enough". So back to the drawing board we went.

"Hey, what about a black eye"? she said looking towards me with a glint in her eye. "That would work and it will be alot easier to achieve".

"I suppose" I said not sounding too convinced.

"I know, I will hit your eye with the shoe and then you can hit mine".

"Huh, the shoe! that will hurt look how big it is". I said with sheer panick on my face.

"Yeh your right". I could see by her facial expression she was searching for other items to use; to be fair I was also thinking of what to use because the thought of going to school with a black eye was sounding so supercool.

"A Spoon! we will use a spoon, a couple of short and sharp blasts to the eye will defo do the trick" she said and asked me to get the spoon.

I ran down and got the spoon. On my return we both sat on the bed facing each other totally ready for the procedure to start.

"I will hit you first then once your done, you can hit my eye" Mo said, far too enthusiastically. I agreed.

The first hit hurt but it wasn't that bad as Mo had done it lighter than expected. No! it hadn't turn black on the first hit so again Mo hit me in the eye and again and again. After the fourth hit we checked my eye and no it was still not black but it had started to hurt alot more.

"How many more" I pleaded with her. "Just a few because it looks darker than before".

So one hit after the another pounded against my eye making the pain really intense (as you can imagine). I am sure Mo was getting far too much pleasure now so again I questioned how many more. "Just a few, are you in pain"?

"Ofcourse I am! it really hurts and when will it be my turn"?

Just ten more she said so the countdown began. 10, 9, 8, the pain was so intense and it seems Mo was getting really into the swing of it because the hits were getting stronger. 7, 6, 5. "Stop! now it really hurts". 4, "just three more". I could not take the pain, 3, yes she just kept on hitting harder, 2, I was literally crying now, 1. The hitting had stopped, it was all over, I wiped my face and asked Mo if it had worked. "Well, it has gone reddish so I don't know".

It was my turn now and taking the spoon from my sister, I started to smile.

"Uh, I don't think so, I can see how much pain your in so there is noway I am going to let you hit my eye", saying this she got up laughing and walked away so I ran to tell my mum.

The next day I did have a beautiful black eye and yes I did go to show it off at school and yes it just happened to be a P/E day. I was so happy approaching the teacher and saying I can't do P/E because I had a black eye.

"Black eye, what has that got to do with your hands and feet" the teacher laughed.
"Go get into your leotard".